My Dearest Children
It is with great pleasure and pride that I have chosen to write you this letter and hope to have it published for Mother’s Day. Although, three out of four of you are parents already and while my oldest has no children of her own she has been a better parent to the children whose lives she’s touched than some of their own parents. I want you to know that I love you all, and yes … YOU are my favorite.
I know my ways weren’t always understood, or liked by you. I’m still okay with that. I also see that you may still question my knowledge of what might be best. No worries, I do too. What I need you to know is that I am very proud of you. I know it may not show when you need it to, because I do still pull you aside and put you in your place when you need it. Yes, you feel I should mind my business and you are 100% correct. Here’s the thing… You ARE my business.
As a mother, when you make the choice to give life, you have made the decision to become a leader, guidance counselor, and a few other unwarranted positions. Mother isn’t a one role position. I have gone through some trying times for you children and we as a family have gone through things most families would never have recovered from, but here we are. Here I am. I’m not looking for recognition, medals, trophies. I’m here to let you know I love you, but won’t always be here.
My guidance has been for you to know you have options. I made mistakes and shared them all with you so you would know which not to make. I took you to the deep end, and there you learned to swim. I birthed you, raised you, nourished you and I walk right along side of you through good times and bad. I disciplined you, we disagreed, and here we are. When fear stared you in the face, I was there to make you face it. I let you lose, fall, hurt, cry and when most moms would hide the child’s mistake I made you face yours even when it meant you’d lose. This doesn’t mean I love you any less. It means I love you so much that I went to all extremes to properly prepare you.
My children I only ask this one thing of you. Do the same for my grandchildren. Please Do NOT sell them a false hope of a life that isn’t true. Let them live a reality. Discipline them when they are in need of discipline, direction, and correction. You are their parents. They will appreciate you later and if they don’t that is okay too. Don’t fool them by making them always right, always the good kid. If they are wrong, as you sometimes were, let them know and correct them. Don’t always be there to pick them up when they fall. Let them pick themselves up. Just as you did when I couldn’t be around.
Guide them on social media sites and the internet. Don’t let them be completely sucked into the electronic world. You had game systems, but chores, cooking, cleaning, ironing, and laundry and life basic skills that everyone should be taught. Have them learn, manners, respect for self, others, and most of all self-awareness and love. Teach my grandchildren it’s okay to not be right all the time and love yourself anyway.
Always remember that regardless of what may have crossed your path, you do make your choices. Despite of any rocky roads, you have managed to become respectful, self-sufficient, adults with no fear of dreaming. You are doers, and anything you set your mind to you can accomplish and will continue to achieve. Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes, we are far from perfect. Understand that only you hold the key to your destiny and you are right where you are meant to be today. Keep pressing forward to make your mark, leave a legacy of someone who does something with their life. Even if it means reinventing yourself over and over again until it just feels right.
I’m still learning how to be a mother. I’ve only been doing it for 30 years.
With all my love,
Mami